Monday, April 30, 2012

Last call for that triple cheeseburger

Because I like springing things on myself, I decided, oh, yesterday to participate in the Meatless May challenge. And then I spent four or five hours today trying to meal plan and being frozen by the enormity of the prospect. I started hedging. I decided first that maybe we would have meat on weekends, or that it would be meatless dinners only, or that maybe I would just skip the whole thing altogether. But I didn't want to skip it, especially since I only just decided to try it! Such conflict in my heart.

I finally came up with the perfect solution: The only meat we will eat this month will be meat that is already in the house. I won't be buying any until June. This makes me happy because a) I don't have to reinvent the wheel completely where it comes to dinner; and b) I need to clean out the freezers anyway.

Yes, I said freezerS. In the interest of full disclosure, we have two. But they are not chest freezers stocked with entire sides of beef, just regular old freezer compartments. Off the top of my head, the only meat I know to be in there is a ribeye, a package of two chicken breasts, and a bag of salmon fillets. Maybe a couple of hamburger patties? Oh, those will be hoarded and treasured like gold.

More disclosure - I have not decided exactly what we're doing for food for Marlo's birthday party, but I will not be subjecting my friends to my experiment. If I buy meat for that, it will be the exception. Also, I will obviously eat any meat served to me when I am a guest in someone's home. And I will eat the steak that has been pre-ordered for me at an event next weekend con mucho gusto.

Does it sound like my May is not going to be all that meatless? Perhaps. But I like my plan and I will tell you why. I have said a bazillion times here that I don't have any intention of giving up meat. But this will force me to eat it quite mindfully, and use it sparingly, and increase my meatless-entree repertoire. It will also force me to use food I might have otherwise wasted. In fact, this version of the plan was hatched because we have a half package of bacon sitting in the fridge. I feel like eating that bacon is more in line with the ideals of Meatless May, as opposed to throwing it out just because the calendar changed.

I'm planning on sharing my meals here. Even the super meaty cheater ones.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Finally, a sane person on the internet

Stop what you're doing and read this.

I found it at just the right time, when my frustration with the Food Wars had reached critical mass and I was thinking about swearing off reading/watching/listening to anything diet and nutrition related ever, ever again. The author is local (for me anyway) and now in danger of being stalked.

By the way, it was this piece (and the subsequent comments) that drove me to the edge.

UPDATE: Turns out that the my hero the author just relocated to Las Vegas. It's just as well.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Only she didn't say fudge

I've basically got the Mother of the Year award for 2012 locked down already, sorry to disappoint those of you in contention yourselves. Not only did Marlo fall off her kitchen step stool and lose the ability to walk for 24 hours, she also said the F word. It's been a banner week of motherhood. She's walking again, although with a bit of a limp, and so far no more obscenities have been uttered.

If you're thinking, "oh Tori, you're being silly, surely she was saying truck or luck or duck," well, you are sweet but wrong. She was filling in the blank for me. I was attempting to fill out a long and involved online form when the page crashed. I said the first part, the "argh, what the" part, and she filled in the rest. Then repeated it. Then turned around and looked at her father and said it again, just so he could be sure that I had, in fact, successfully taught his daughter the correct usage of the word. I don't know why she had to sell me out like that. I think we did a pretty good job of not reacting, which is What They Say to do in that situation, but it definitely proves she is 100% paying attention. All the time.  Frankly, I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner.

It might be time for a swear jar.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Thank goodness for low expectations

It is finally, almost, sort of nice here, which is good, because I was losing my mind. I took Marlo to visit my parents in Arizona for ten days. It was originally supposed to be a week. I saw the forecast for the day I was supposed to go home and extended my stay. I think that perhaps my husband was a little concerned that I was never coming home. Maybe it's because I said a few things to him along the lines of, "I'm not coming back there, you join us when you can." 

But now it has become more civilized around here. It hasn't rained in nearly four straight days, and it has been warm enough that I am able, if not required, to open the doors to the deck to let in the fresh cool air. I was even inspired enough to head to the nursery for some herbs and strawberry plants, which apparently are delicious  - we can't keep the stupid dog and cats from eating the leaves. I'm hoping they're also highly toxic.