Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Random Thoughts

Because writing out a whole (semi) coherent post just sounds waayy too exhausting.

I'm beginning to wonder if I want one of those belly bra things. I like having spandexy material over my bump. Usually it comes in the form of the top of my maternity jeans or else in a stretchy Target camisole I have been wearing 9 days out of 10. A lot of times both. I'm carrying low and I find if I support myself from underneath my back feels momentarily better. So belly bra. Maybe.

Speaking of maternity jeans, I have just about outgrown my favorite pair. The full panel top has turned to a demi. That gives me a very unflattering seam line across the middle of my belly. Not a fan. So now the question is, how much more money do I spend and on what? I just invested $26.99 in a pair of sweatpants. That may just about do the trick, I don't know.

What else is comfortable? Giant t-shirts. The sort that you get free with purchase or used to be your dad's or whatever, that are always some sort of boxy "large" that was only ever good for sleeping in. Now they fit snugly around the belly and are great for lounging about the house.

What's uncomfortable? Going to the store and buying three half gallons of ice cream. Here's how that went:

Checkout clerk: "Big plans tonight?"
Me: "Nope."

Followed by fifteen seconds of awkward silence until he told me the total, I signed in the little box and then forced myself to look him in the eye and say thank you before scurrying out the door before I saw anyone I knew. Aw, I just love being a big pregnant cliche all the time.

Friday, March 26, 2010

31 Weeks

It feels like we're entering Official Baby Season. My due date is only nine weeks away, and I will be considered full term (or "in dates" as the cool kids say) in just six. With the way time has of flying, I'm sure my neck will just about snap with how quickly this next month or two goes.

Saw the doctor today. I'm seeing her every two weeks now. I have gained three pounds since my last visit, giving me a total of 30 overall. I broke into the 160's today, which means my goal of 175 is attainable with a little extra effort. The ginormous bowl of restaurant chicken alfredo I had for lunch after my appointment was probably a step in the right direction. Boy do I love eating. It's going to be sad when this is all over and I have to be all "reasonable" again.

Chopita has discovered that my short ribs make for an excellent foot stool. I am constantly rubbing my right side in a way that makes previously pregnant women (ie mothers) point and laugh. She's doing lots of good movement that is both visible and-um...feelable from the outside. Husband was so excited to finally get to feel her kick a few weeks ago, but now he just kind of makes a kind of nauseous face when I hold his hand to one protruding body part or another. Preaching to the choir, buddy.

Oh. Want to see her face? Tune in next time. :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


So about a week ago, I was minding my own business, sunning myself and reading a book, when all of a sudden there was such a commotion in my belly that I almost barfed. I made some sort of gagging/yelping sound which caused my dear husband to look up from his own reading and toward my vibrating jello-mold of a midsection. "What just happened?" was his rather casual inquiry.

I don't know exactly what happened. I can tell you it felt like baby girl channeled her future teenage self and gave me a big gah, whatever!, a turn on the heels, and a slam of the bedroom door. All within the confines of my uterus. It was as big of a movement out of her as I have felt, and one that frankly I hope I don't feel again. It was gross. The fact that I was in my giant purple pregnancy bikini and therefore had a relatively unobstructed view didn't help any.

Point of story is that ever since that incident, I have been able to feel her much more clearly. It's almost like what I felt was her turning into a tiny little Incredible Hulk and now she's in there all green and muscle-y. I can feel her little heel dig into my right side when she stretches her legs, and I can feel what I thought must be her head or her butt pushing out to the left of my navel. I can actually cup my hand around it and move her around. It's crazy.

So I tell this to the ultrasound lady, so she moves the wand over to check it out. "Oh yeah!" she says, all enthusiastic, "that's her shoulder!"

Ummm. Excuse me WHAT? That big thing I thought was a butt? That big pointy thing I can grab from the outside? That is a FRIGGEN SHOULDER?

Sweet Jesus. The girl has hulk shoulders. I've mentioned that I am attempting a natural childbirth, right?? Do you have any idea how idiotic that sounds now? How suddenly disappointed I am that she's all head down and good to go and not some impossibly-positioned breech baby that I can just call up the hospital and schedule to be removed from me?

I guess the silver lining is that I can only feel ONE shoulder. So there's hope. But suffice to say I'm feeling a little wary about going any further with this whole "let's have a baby" thing.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Getting Back to ... Normal?

I apologize for my extended absence, to those of you who might have noticed. We took a vacation last week and although I had my laptop with me, I figured I should try and be present in the moment rather than sitting back and blogging about it.

So here I am, fresh from a week in the sun, but not so much feeling rested and peaceful or whatnot. Something happened last week - some sort of crazy hormonal earthquake - and I have been feeling a little down in the dumps ever since. I think it's beginning to pass, and no one is more grateful than Husband. He is not used to having a wife who cries because he is not being supportive enough when he says something like "hey, don't worry about it, it's no big deal," especially when it really IS no big deal.

He's also not used to a wife who cries over a make-believe stockyard scene in a made for TV movie and then mopes all the way through a nice steak dinner. For reals.

But it's getting better. I really do feel like the hormonal floor just fell out from under me there, and now I'm getting back on my feet. Self-medicating with red velvet cake and ice cream seems to be helping greatly - I highly recommend it if you're feeling low yourself.

Friday, March 12, 2010

My daughter is difficult - Imagine that.

Today was The Big Day - I had my 3D ultrasound appointment this morning.

Only problem being the fact that Chopita is clearly her mother's daughter. Girl has her own agenda.

Baby Girl is, in fact, a baby girl. We got another really clear shot of her privates and nothing has sprouted there since January. I've got a crystal clear 3D image of her labia that I will save for showing her friends some day when she is being an obnoxious tween.

Seeing her face was a bit more problematic. She has her head wedged deep down in my pelvis. The ultrasound tech gave me a concerned look upon seeing this positioning and asked me, "is she hurting you?" Um, yeah. The answer to your question is YES. So now I have an explanation for the crippling hip pain I've been feeling on my right side for the past few weeks. It is my sweet daughter, putting all of her weight on my hip joint.

Besides the fact that she is balled up in the corner, it was difficult to see her because she was sucking on the umbilical cord. That was pretty cute. She was holding it up to her mouth and gumming it, and then she licked it, and then she kind of dropped her arms down, rolled over, and curled up like it was time for a nap. We never got to see her whole face, because she was totally rammed up against the placenta. The ultrasound tech said that lots of babies like to snuggle their placentas. Another cute-slash-kind of creepy thing.

Sooo long story shorter, no good pictures today, but we were invited back for a redo- hopefully in another 12 days she will feel more like humoring her parents. In the meantime I have to pay super close attention to what I eat that makes her active and be sure to eat lots of it before my appointment. If I have to have ice cream for breakfast, so be it.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I shoulda known better than to go to the dentist

I got diagnosed with my first pregnancy complication yesterday: Pregnancy Gingivitis.
Basically this means that my mouth is a cesspool of nasty gum eating bacteria.

Yummy! Who wants a kiss?

I guess my Sonicare toothbrush lulled me into a false sense of security. Kind of disconcerting I hadn't noticed that my gums are swollen and bleeding.

I was given a very stern flossing lecture by the hygienist, who showed me how to do it just in case the problem was actually that I didn't understand the concept. Then the dentist came in and cheerfully told me that the pregnancy gingivitis usually clears up all on its own around the same time the pregnancy does.

Ha! Did you hear that, Hygienist? You'll never make me floss.

Friday, March 5, 2010

I most certainly did not...

...order $50 worth of Chinese food for myself tonight.

Why, what gave you that idea?

Now if you will excuse me, I really must be going. Something tells me I want to be sure to take my wedding ring off before I fall asleep tonight.

P.S. one of the cats stole a fortune cookie and broke it open. His fortune said something about being ready for an exciting opportunity. I'd say he had already found it.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

28 Weeks

Nothing much new to report, other than one more week of pregnancy completed. Only, oh, a zillion and a half to go.

I'm sure I'm a few pounds heavier and a few inches bigger around, but I haven't bothered to do any research in those areas. I have just continued to eat unreasonable amounts of moderately healthy to unhealthy foods and assumed the inevitable.

I bought a purple bikini today. I got a raised eyebrow from the Target checkout lady when I told her that yes, the bikini was for pregnancy wear. I did not care for her look of disapproval. In fact, I'd say she deserved a raised eyebrow from ME for daring to ask me my intentions in the first place. I should have just given her a big fat NOYB, but I am far too sweet and lovely of a person. Ask anybody.

Oh yeah, and there is one other thing. The baby is named. No, I'm not telling you what.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A New Way to Hurt...Oh Joy.

I think I almost died today.

How's that for melodrama? Are you on the edge of your seat?

I was driving home from a very pleasant lunch date. I was on the freeway, singing along to whatever was playing on my iPod. I had my foot on the gas, and I was going probably close to 70 and still accelerating. My lane, an exit lane, had just opened up clear ahead of me. But then, before I knew what was happening, some lady in a white car pulled in front of me. Going 40. I only had time for one thought: Fuck.

I had a split-second worth of consciousness of the fact that I should do something besides just slam on the brakes. That I should try to pull around in one of the other lanes. But I didn't have the reaction time for that. I didn't even have the time to check my rearview and see if there was someone behind me. All I could do was slam on the brakes. And all I can remember about that moment is the rear end of the white car stuttering toward my face as the anti-lock part of the anti-lock brakes kept me from sliding right into the back of her.

Lady in the white car, meanwhile, had no idea that I had just avoided barreling into her and ruining her day. She proceeded to make her next lane change, still at 40, and hold up that entire lane of traffic, oblivious to everybody else on the road.

I was shaken up, and thought to myself, wow, I probably just avoided really hurting myself. That would have been a bad accident. And then, it hit me.

I could have killed the baby.

Ugh - sniveling, crying, hormonal pregnant lady, coming through. That was the first time it really hit me, how responsible I am for this little life and how unforgivable it would be for me to hurt her out of my own carelessness. I mean, I knew it before on an academic-sort of-logic-based level, but this was the first time I really felt it in my gut. And it hurt. YECH it hurt a lot.

So, yeah. Glad I have that to look forward to feeling for the rest of my life. If you need to find me, I'll be the one driving in the right lane going 55 with my hazards on and my baby on board sign.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The Blah-Blechies

I don't know about the rest of yous, but when I spend a day sitting on my ass I usually feel great for the first eight hours or so. Then it's all downhill.

This is the situation I find myself in today. Not that I was without accomplishment. Just that there was not so much physical, moving type activity.

The movement thing is a Catch-22. My dainty little hips are so delicate these days. It's like they are on a very specific step-taking count and if I dare to take one step over, KA-BLAM! MY LEG DISENGAGES FROM THE SOCKET. Or at least that's what it feels like is gonna happen. So I feel awful if I move too little, awful if I move too much. I was limping when I went to bed last night, and I was limping when I got up this morning. Therefore I figured I had better take it easy today and do most of my baby-shopping legwork online.

So what did I accomplish, you ask? Well, I ordered a gliding ottoman to match the Dutailier glider I was lucky enough to get for free. Free glider = way better than $700 glider, which was the asking price for the other one I was wanting. So I spent $279 on a fancy little padded gliding footstool with the handy nursing stool option and called it good. Can you believe they charge that much for ottomans, by the way? Highway robbery. But a good $30 less online than I was quoted in-store for the same thing.

I also pulled the trigger and ordered a dozen Rumparooz Lil Joey diapers. I am becoming more determined to cloth diaper my child with every person who tells me I'm crazy and/or stupid to try. Oh wait, that's just my mother. Anyway, the Lil Joey's will be our "going out" diaper, for when we are in the company of those who think we are crazy and cloth diapers are too much work. At home I think we'll probably stick to prefolds, fitteds, and covers - at least until Little Miss learns to roll over, sit up, and do all those other pesky things that make diapers less effective at poo-trapping.

Ooh! Ooh! And last thing - I scheduled a 3D ultrasound appointment! I had been on the fence, but we decided to go ahead and do it. I'm thinking it's one of those things that is just cool enough to overcome the slight creepiness factor. I'll let you know if I was right next Friday.