Thursday, November 29, 2012

I'm really a very happy person, promise

Well, hard to say what's wrong with me, but I didn't even like Thanksgiving this year. It's usually my favorite holiday. But this year, I felt entirely put out by having to figure out what to cook and grocery shopping and the whole lot of it. I was glad when it was over and I didn't even cook my customary at-home turkey feast the day after. I had, like, two turkey sandwiches and NO PIE, not even for breakfast.

Did I mention I'm working again? I guess more accurately I'm getting paid to work, and falling dangerously behind, but yeah, working. Very much part time. Very much in a way that is dangerous for someone with my lack of self-discipline - that is, totally unsupervised and unchecked. If my boss were anybody other than my father, I'd probably have gotten fired already. But, bonus, I totally get to play both sides in the mommy wars now. And, also bonus, when I had to pay the vet $600 to amputate one of the cats' toes, there was enough money in the bank to do that.

I found a blog today with a recipe for diet coke brownies. Basically what it sounds like. Box of brownie mix, can of diet coke. Mix, bake and enjoy. I thought that was depressing enough on its own merits, but then I read the "about me" sidebar and discovered the woman who posted this recipe is - get ready for it - head of school lunch in her kids' school district. Sometimes I don't feel like we stand a chance in this world. And then I realize I am thinking that thought while inhaling my red dye #40 soaked Christmas M&Ms, and it all feels even more hopeless. Holiday Cheer!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Bring a nickel; tap your feet

Has there ever been a song that had you convinced it was destined to be the soundtrack to your insanity? That's how I feel about "What I Like About You" by the Romantics. Like, someday, I'm going to snap when it's on the radio and spend the rest of my days rocking in the corner. Why don't I just turn it off? Well, if only it were that easy, right? It comes on and I get sucked into some sort of maniacal anxiety cave, and there's nothing to be done but try my best to hang on to my sanity. 

Speaking of songs with weird connotations, I am deeply disturbed by the new Walgreens ads with John Corbett as the narrator and "Down on the Corner" by CCR as the jingle. Here is the reason why. That song has always conjured weird visuals of the Keebler elf factory, but in more of a sort of acid-trippy, gnome-y way (assuming that makes any sense to anyone). Couple that with the old-timey photography and the creepy John Corbett "I'm not a sex predator, I'm just a friendly dad-type who wants to make sure you are warm so why don't you just get in the shower I'll watch just to make sure you don't slip" thing and I'm beyond skeeved out. 

Welcome to the disaster that is my brain.