It's all fun and games 'til the baby gets salmonella

Let's count all the ways I'm endangering my child's life in this picture, shall we?

Now, before you take any umbrage, let me assure you that she did not actually ingest any raw cookie dough. That I am aware of. She was just really, really in to grabbing that spoon. She actually got a hold of it while I was still in the butter and white sugar only phase, and got butter and sugar everrrrrrywhere. Husband was none too concerned about getting it cleaned up. "But she'll be all butter-hands!" I protested, to which he replied, "better than butter-face!" Hearty har har. Such a wit, that one.

On to child-endangerment, part two. Look at how perilously close to the edge that Bebe Pod is! I actually didn't realize that at the time, and was sort of shocked when I saw the pictures. Wait, don't tell me - she shouldn't be up there at all, right? Right. I know. If it makes you feel any better, she's on the floor now. Watching TV, as a matter of fact. Damn, I can't win.

Two days in a row! Take that!

So I was lying in bed this morning, willing Marlo to go back to sleep, and I had all SORTS of ideas for blog posts. I had like 10 of em that I was going to start as drafts, and then bazaam! post all the time.

Needless to say, instead I had to actually get up with the baby and, you know, take care of her. Then I fell back asleep. Then poof! no more blog ideas.

Oooh, I do remember one. I have this tomato that has been sitting on the counter since before we left. Somehow it looks all fine and dandy on the outside, but I bet if I cut into it I would find all sorts of nasty horrors of moldy tomato guts. Being a true scientist, I plan to test my hypothesis and share with you the results. Now if that's not enough to get you to follow me, I don't know what is!

Speaking of following me, you may notice I added the "subscribe to" gadget over on the right hand side. This is because I was approached by a fan while on my travels who suggested I should add it. Got to keep the fans happy!

My carbon footprint would make Al Gore cry

Okay, so I didn't spend my whole trip blogging. Sue me. But you should know that I am a licensed attorney in the state of Washington and my specialty is frivolous, made up lawsuits. Full disclosure and all.

The trip went well, although a certain baby who shall remain nameless did cry for most of the five plus hour flight home. We've been hard at work correcting our sleep schedules, laundering the laundry and unpacking the five metric tons of crap we carted around for two weeks. I really wish I was more of a hippie and had just done the trip with like a sling and some hemp products that all fit in one carry-on. Instead we had two suitcases each, a pack n' play, two carry-ons each and two boxes we shipped home. Not to mention the stroller and the car seat. Like I said, five metric tons of crap. I used to pride myself on my light packing abilities, so having to cart around all this baby gear is a bit of a blow to the sense of self. And we won't even get in to the minivan we had to rent to lug all that stuff to and fro.

So now I guess we just enjoy the calm before the storm that is the Holidays. Although there's not much calm to be had - Santa is arriving at the local ritzy mall on November 19 - the weekend BEFORE Thanksgiving. Two weeks from now! I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

excuse #1

Okay so the hotel we were staying in all week had free wifi, but the way they can afford to offer this service apparently is to not actually make it available. The network was unavailable pretty much the entire time we were there. Plus they gave us the wrong password when we checked in, so it took until Wednesday before we could try to log in with the right information.

Fascinating stuff, right?

Anyway, we had a successful and fun week in Hotlanta. Marlo and I spent most mornings napping and lazing about, before venturing out into Centennial Olympic Park in the afternoons. They have a fountain water show set to music that is sort of reminiscent of the one at the Bellagio except way suckier.

I took Marlo and Husband to the Georgia Aquarium - I had been before, about four and a half years ago when I bought my wedding dress in Atlanta. It's such an impressive place that it's hard to be nonchalant, even as the veteran in the group. I was happy to share it with my little family. Marlo was a big fan of the Belugas, who both swam over to check her out. Whales and dolphins like babies. I'm no marine biologist but I can tell.

Oh, did I mention buying my wedding dress four and a half years ago? It was our fourth anniversary a few days ago. We did not celebrate and there were no gifts exchanged. I expect that will be remedied this weekend.

Crap.

I forgot to tell you about Marlo turning 4 months old. Suffice to say it happened, she grew, I can't believe how big she's getting, yadda yadda.

Burglars, go watch TV for a minute. Okay, now that it's safe, I'll tell you that we're going on an epic adventure of a trip, two weeks away with no swing for a baby who only likes to sleep at night in a swing. Hurray! Nothing like ripping that band-aid off and getting on with life! Oh, and did I mention we're crossing three time zones? And the last time we did that she didn't sleep for more than an hour at a time all night? What joy.

I'll try to blog my adventures. Considering I'm going to be stuck in a hotel room all week with a napping baby, I have very little excuse not to.

The satanism will be all my fault

Someday, when Marlo is all Goth, I will have only myself to blame.

She is currently being soothed to sleep by the sweet sweet sounds of "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush" as rendered by the dying batteries of her swing. It sounds like a horror movie in here.

Adding to the terror ambiance is the half head of hair strewn festively about my pillow this morning. I can just hear the rumblings amongst the guests of the wedding I'm in next month, as they try to figure out who the chesty bald bridesmaid is - a long lost cousin, perhaps? Fun, I'll be an enigma! Not that I would ever be so self absorbed as to distract from the bride. Remind me.

That pretty much sums it up

You may notice I changed the blog title. That's cuz the new one seems much more reflective of what's going on around here. Not so much "adventures" but "boring old mom crap."

I've been meaning to update more often, really, but this blog is drifting into glorified baby book territory, which is never what I was interested in doing. At least I've saved the poop stories for my PEPS group. The baby stories might be more interesting if I actually had the time to develop a coherent narrative, but considering my free - slash - interwebbing time comes in spurts and starts, that's not really possible.

But it's getting closer to possible. I think. I am learning, slowly but surely, how to prioritize and spend time wisely. And how to ignore the baby while she screams in her crib so I can get my perez hilton read. Ha! A neglect joke! Won't Marlo just laugh when she's 15 and googles herself!