Sunday, December 5, 2010

My blood boileth over

Generally speaking, I should not be allowed on the internet. Or rather, I need some sort of parental control over the content I am allowed to access. I should be excluded from all sites containing political discourse, especially if comments are enabled.

The problem is, the internet is full of idiots. Present company excluded, of course. It is a soapbox for all-comers, and most of the people who take advantage of the forum are complete and utter morons, if not entirely delusional and/or criminally insane.

Most might be an overstatement.

But you see, I read the rantings of these lunatics, because I just can't help myself. I have to look the crazy in the eye. But then I get fired up. And then I go do something stupid like post a comment about it on Facebook. That is always a mistake, because everybody knows that politics are not a part of polite conversation, and one must treat Facebook as a cocktail party and not like,  I don't know, a computer screen that only you can see. Real, living people and what not. Then I usually end up in a big fight with bullies I don't even know but who are friends with my friends, and then I am sad and feel all alone in the world. Which is ironic, for a social network.

It crossed my mind to post some rantings of my own on this blog, but I would hate to alienate my loyal readers, who now number in the mid-single digits. Up until now you thought I was all cute and harmless - but it turns out I'm a dirty liberal sympathizer! Who believes President Obama WAS BORN IN THE UNITED STATES. Crazy, I know.

I might not be able to help myself. I'm working on a series of posts called my "six month review," where I discuss my experiences with various baby things, like diapers and breastfeeding, etc. But I may slip something in there about the TSA search procedures and how they absolutely do not violate your 4th amendment rights. For instance.

What can I say? I'm mad, bad, and dangerous to know. Just like Lord Byron. Or Dylan McKay.

6 comments:

Leopard Girl said...

If you curled your bangs back, we might actually be able to get a McKay look going for you.

Tori said...

I can't wrinkle my forehead that well.

Layne said...

I think the main thing missing from online discourse is polite disagreement. Civility in general is a rare find. I have a number of friends with whom I disagree on fairly important core issues, but we make it work, because nobody likes a self-righteous scold (too bad for me).

Susan said...

I'd be happy to shave a line into your eyebrown, Tori! That should help you look dangerous like Dylan.

Tori said...

@Layne - You're right. Civility is what's missing, and not just online. Somewhere along the line it became the standard to say I'm right, and not only are you wrong, you are a stupid asshole. I'm guilty of it myself I guess.

@Susan and LG: you know, it's too bad that Halloween has passed, because I could probably do a passable Claire. My midsection is in no shape for her signature half-shirt and suspenders look, however.

Layne said...

Hah! I use that tactic all the time. We call it "excessive advocacy."