Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I bet you didn't realize you were in the presence of such sheer genius

Did you know they changed the scoring on the SAT? That's why that teenager laughed at you when you humblebragged your score. Now there is a writing section and the score is out of 2400 instead of 1600. I took the SAT II writing test back when it was optional and aced it, thank you very much. Got a 770. That's not a humblebrag, that's just a real brag.* It's not quite "I was head cheerleader back in the day," but it's all I got.

My poor blog is so neglected, and probably completely unsatisfactory to all (six and counting) readers. Not enough baby for some, not enough world view for others. Still again not enough tales of mommy shenanigans to make insecure moms feel better/drunkard moms feel enabled.

I have to find a new shtick, something that will force me to blog every day. Now that it has become quite obvious to me that I cannot eat as though I am still pregnant fifty-five weeks after giving birth, maybe I could blog about the carrot sticks and plain tuna I am eating for lunch. Boy, won't that be fun for everybody?

Speaking of diets, do you know that in the course of an hour yesterday I found SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE all over the internet that each and every kind of food will eventually cause you to die horribly of cancer and/or old age? Yes, it turns out no matter what you eat you will eventually die, and there is nothing you can do to control this. Scares the shit out of people, apparently.

*I feel like I may have stolen this line from a certain someone.  Or perhaps I'm crazy. I  am sorry if I am a plagarist instead of a genius.

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