Well, I solved my dog problem. We took him along when we went to visit my in-laws in New Hampshire last month and we left him there. Ta-da! No more dog and no blood on my hands. And believe me, it was coming to that. He had taken to peeing on my side of the bed at least once a week. I think it was some sort of territory/claiming me as "bitch" battle between him and one of the cats. There was no keeping him out of the bedroom. I tried locking the door and he just bloodied himself opening it. I tried locking him in the garage and he bloodied himself trying to open that door, too. We were coming home to a crime scene any time we left the house. It was really an untenable situation.
Everybody seems pretty happy about the new arrangement. Marlo has accepted as fact our story that Grammie and Grandpa were very lonely and Rocco stayed to keep them company. Grammie and Grandpa will benefit from having a dog around, and Rocco should be very happy being the sole focus of attention. Win-win-win situation, if you ask me. Of course, no sooner had we solved the dog problem than we developed a cat pee problem, so our house is not free from pet disaster. But free from dog problems, which quite frankly is good enough for me. I'm slowly beginning to accept the fact that I don't especially like dogs and am going to end up a crazy cat lady. One step closer to my true self.
Oprah would be so proud.