The best blogger in the history of blogging

Hi. You may have noticed that I took a bit of a hiatus. Or not. I just looked at my own blog for the very first time since July. I wish I had some dramatic account of where I have been and what has kept me away from the blog. Almost. I almost wish that. But the truth is that I was bored of myself and felt like I had nothing to say, so I decided to shut up and walk away. I figured when the time was right I would come back.

Around the beginning of September when I was all "back to school" and trying to practice self-discipline, part of my plan was to get into the daily writing habit. That might have happened, but instead I got myself on a full-time MOM schedule of asinine toddler activities and spent any free time I could get trying to clear my head of nursery rhymes. Then I got a nasty little cold and spent my free time napping. Then all of a sudden it was October.

So, what's new. We're in a pretty good little groove.  I can tell that we've found our groove because now it's time for us to make a serious effort at another baby. That's the way it always works, right? You find some sort of equilibrium and then you shake it all up again.

I will try to be here. I will try to think of interesting things to say. Hopefully I get myself knocked up again soon; there's a wealth of material to be had there. Best reason to have a baby, right? Blog material?

The reproductivity report

So. I'm officially at that point in the baby-wanting continuum where the, er, beginning of a new cycle is slightly depressing. Well, at least it is once it happens. Mine came five days later than expected this time around, and I would say the prevailing thought in my head over those days was  

ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap.  

Still, wistful or not, I don't see the "oh crap" reaction changing any time soon. I don't think I'm going to get to the point where I feel confident the time is right to commit to changing my family's structure FOREVER. I will probably have to get drunkenly knocked up if Marlo's not going to be an only child. Ah, I can't wait for my children to grow up and read that.

Isn't it weird how when you're trying with all your might to get pregnant, it seems like the most fragile thing ever? When I was first pregnant with Marlo I remember feeling some sort of cramping and instantly laying down with my legs elevated. I remember going on a boat ride and being terrified because the lake was super choppy. I went to a corporate dinner event and was served a salad with green papaya, only to read the next day that the last thing a pregnant lady should be eating is green papaya! You might spontaneously abort!

The opposite of this, of course, is when you are scared you might be pregnant and don't want to be. Then it seems like your cervix is a vault door from Fort Knox and whatever zygote you might be carrying is impervious to all manner of hostile environmental factors. You have Donna's boyfriend Ray from 90210 come over and throw you down the stairs, and still, your period won't start.*

But this month it did, so there will be no vanity baby for me this October. I would have been due three days after my birthday! That would have been sort of cool.

*was that totally wrong and offensive of me to say? I'm sorry. I couldn't resist.