Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Just me and my Israeli secret service buddies, hanging out

I realize that my previous post may be interpreted as some sort of brag list, i.e., listen to all the cool electronics you can come steal from my house. That was not the intent. Rather, it was a self-deprecating joke about how I am so awesome at motherhood that Marlo thinks the things most worth having are the electronics I am always staring at over her head. You get it now, right. Good.

I have been slightly paranoid about the whole coming-to-my-house-and-stealing-things thing lately. Like I was explaining to the credit card guy how my husband was going to be out of the country and they could expect some charges from the UK or Germany and don't get all agitated and freeze my account, okay?! when I suddenly got real paranoid. There was a voice inside my head screaming HANG UP!! TELL HIM JUST KIDDING AND HANG UP!! IT'S A TRAP!! As though the guy in the call center in South Dakota (that's where he said he was, anyway) was going to hang up and call his network of Thugs and arrange to have someone come murder me in my sleep. Unlikely, right? But still, made me totally nervous. Like this is the exact wrong thing to do, call up some guy and identify myself as Home Alone on these specific dates. All to save the embarrassment of having my credit card rejected at the grocery store.

Good thing I have a dog who is not afraid to cut a bitch.


Layne said...

Too late, weirdos have already read this post and plied your dog with steak.

Mavis said...

I agree with Layne... South Dakota guy does have a ring of thugs and a jet plane ready to take off on a moments notice... If Iceman is headed to Scotland ask him to bring us back a case of Chomp bars... and I'll trade you for a pallet of dish soap.