Friday, April 15, 2011

Sexualizing the non-sexual

Do you watch that show, "America's Next Great Restaurant?" I do, although I'm not sure why. I TiVo it and watch it while I am eating my lunch. Then I can fast forward through most of it and just watch the vaguely interesting parts. It's your basic filler tv, where you don't really care too much what's happening, you just want something to zone out on so you can stuff your face in peace.

So basically the whole gist of the show is that Bobby Flay, the Chipotle guy, Curtis Stone and Token Woman are going to invest in someone's new restaurant concept. The most interesting parts so far have been how Chipotle guy doesn't go five minutes without reminding everybody he founded Chipotle, and also how he got rid of the contestant who had a plan for a new fast-casual wok restaurant, which just so happens to be his new concept which is just now hitting test markets. If I were the wok lady, I would be pissed about that. But yeah, that's barely intrigue and it is the high water mark of intrigue on this show.

The other interesting part is deciding whether or not I would actually want to have relations with Curtis Stone. Sometimes I think yes. Other times, I think he looks sort of like he's in drag, like a guy in drag dressed up like a dude, if that makes sense. Or more precisely, like he showed up on set without realizing he forgot to take his drag show make up off from last night. His lips and eyes are just a little too pretty for my taste. But, if push came to shove, I'm sure I could suffer through it.

Then there's Bobby Flay. I've always had a bit of a secret dirty-boy crush on him. OH don't pretend like you've never had a crush on someone you also think is just dirty and gross. But how do you get dirty grosser than Bobby Flay? He's a ginger AND his voice is annoying.

It's the cockiness. When someone who looks a fool like that is so arrogant, you have to believe it's because he's packing some serious heat. I bet if you and a girlfriend met Curtis and Bobby in a bar, you would think you totally won by hooking up with Curtis. But then the next day when you shared your conquest stories, you'd totally be wishing you had got Bobby instead. I bet a bazillion dollars on it.

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