My neighbor has chickens.
If you need me, I will be at the feed store buying myself some CHICKENS.
They're illegal in my neighborhood, but you know - strength in numbers.
And now we have a real good excuse to shoot the racoons we caught fornicating in the cul-de-sac. We have to protect our neighborhood livestock.
I am thisclose to getting my goat lawnmower - I can feel it!